What Just Happened

I suppose we should give them credit, with such a line up of notorious star talent (De Niro, Penn, Willis, Turturro, etc.) it seems like it would be difficult to make an entirely worthless film. Well, the independent production trio who backed What Just Happened has done it. The film is a gratuitous mixture of pointless editing (the old speed it up and drop some frames), aimless dialogue, and mediocre acting (Willis without explosions and De Niro doing yoga, sipping Red Bull). Halfway through the movie when De Niro accidentally hits John Turturro's cowardly agent character in the balls with a shovel and he falls into a freshly dug grave I had to laugh out loud. "This movie is so bad!" I said, gasping for air. Nonetheless, we continued to watch hoping for some sort of redeeming quality: a move that isn't spelled out to us 10 minutes in advance, an original angle or action by the I'm from Hollywood so I serve no code of ethics characters, or even one intelligent, intriguing or catchy line. If this review reveals nothing to you about the movie, it is only because there is nothing in the movie that is worth revealing. If I could, I'd give this movie a zero, labeling it a complete waste of time but, in order to fit it into a category:

BOOOOOOOO!
Rating: 1 out of 5
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Plot: 0
Imagery: 0
Originality: 0
Soundtrack: 0
Overall: 0